Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Zombeavers: a film i guess

There's a real film out there about zombie beavers. I watched it so you don't have to, and I highly encourage you don't because its kinda gross. Here's a summary and what I thought about it.
First of all, the virus is started by Bill Burr, and called beaver fever. That's hilarious in itself. I wish he was in the film more, but I understand why he would make that decision. The rest of the movie follows these extremely unlikable college students who are going on a trip to some lake? Why these ditsy college girls would want to go somewhere where there is no internet and no guys is a confusing premise, but I digress. It seems as though it's going to be a normal vacation until uh oh! A zombeaver somehow ends up in the shower and of course they think its a regular old beaver boy with rabies. They "kill" (really just knock out) the beaver and put it in a trash bag outside. The next day they walk out and oh my! The beaver got out of the bag! At this point I really hate these characters and want beavers to eat them, just saying, oh and their male friends show up too. We find out that one of the friends kissed the other's boyfriend, I don't care at all, I'm here for zombeavers. They're at the lake and the zombeavers attack! The most unlikable character gets his foot eaten, I giggled. They're on a raft hiding from the beavers in the lake, I feel bad for none of them. Dog dies, only sad part. They make it back to the house and hide like cowards. They split up. Tommy dies first, only semi-likable character in my opinion. Jen and Buck become zombie beavers. At this point I can't breathe I'm laughing too hard. Mysterious old guy that protects them dies, whatever. I'm too busy laughing at how the human zombie beaver hybrids look. Zoe jumps out a window to avoid a human zombie beaver. There are only two left now, because the guy gets eaten by his girlfriend whom he cheated on, I'm not going to say why it's the funniest death, you'll have to see it for yourself. The two girls are in a car now, old guy is a zombie beaver that can supposedly shoot a gun now so they crash. Mary turns into a zombie beaver after a heated standoff between the two remaining girls. Zoe kills her and walks off AND BILL BURR HITS HER WITH A CAR. Very good ending.
In conclusion, pretty funny, very good ending. Very okay movie, just kinda uncomfortable at times. It's not scary, nor is it meant to be I think. It's very much a joke of a movie. Very dumb, but I like that. Okay well that's it, goodbye.

1 comment:

  1. Honestly the fact that the cheating boyfriend was eaten by his girlfriend was funny in itself I don't even need the context for that to be funny