Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Failure: the Most Important Lesson to Learn

When I was younger I was very shy.  So shy that in third grade my teacher sat my best friend next to me so that when the teacher called on me in class, my friend could clarify what I had said.  I wasn't shy at home, of course.  I was loud as can be at home, so whenever my teachers told my mom they were concerned about how quiet I was, she was surprised.  It wasn't just at school that I was shy, I was shy whenever I went anywhere except home.  At parties, I was the type of child that would hide behind my moms shoulder until I warmed up to the crowd.  I tried to be more confident, but I couldn't help it.  I was excruciatingly shy.  At the beginning of sixth grade my shyness proved to have consequences.  We were just about a month into school when my English teacher assigned us a paper to write.  After having written this paper, we were to read it aloud to the class.  My nightmare.  When the time came to present, my stomach was in knots.  I spoke incoherently behind the shield of my paper.  I knew I had done terribly, but I hoped my teacher would cut me some slack.  I was wrong.  When our grades were handed back to us I was met with my worst nightmare, even worse than having to speak up in front of the class:  the letter "C" scrawled on the paper.  I was appalled.  I had never dreamed of getting a "C", it was as good as failing in my eyes.  I cried.  Since then there has been the occasional time that I have gotten a similar grade on an assignment and, although I am never happy with it, I am not devastated in the same way as I was the first time.  I thank that teacher for teaching me that I will not always be perfect.  That is still a lesson I am learning and coming to terms with throughout my education, but with every sub par grade I get, the easier it becomes.  Now, this lesson does not condone being okay with not doing good, what it does is teaches me how to accept when I don't do perfectly as long as I put in my best effort.

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